A Little More Than You Wanted To Know About Shayane

Once upon a time there was a small skincare company named Luminance. Luminance had a bright future ahead of it and was growing quickly. A little too quickly, it needed help. So one of it's owners decided to put up a job announcement on Craigslist in hopes of finding a kindred spirit. As luck would have it the Crazy Craigslist Monster brought Elena and Kim the most fantastically magical most kindred spirit there ever was. Her name was Shayane... and in the spirit of over-sharing for Shayane's birthday we give you...(trumpets here)... her cover letter! So that you can see how considerate and wonderfully amazing she is.
Happy Birthday Shay! (She's in Disney World throwing up in a trash can from all the cotton candy and roller coasters and her wonderful boyfriend is holding her hair back/taking selfies of the action (jkjk)) <3 <3
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Dear hiring manager,
Thank you for taking the time to review my resume in regards to the sample technician position available for your company. I have always enjoyed being an individual who worked behind the scenes. I know most people would prefer an environment where every day is different however, I have always been content with routine tasks. In my previous position, I was given a miscellaneous project which consisted of folding an x-amount of brochures for the business I worked for. What was expected to take at least a month only took a few weeks because I was so enthusiastic with folding all the papers! I didn't realize how quickly I made progress. My manager at the time constantly reminded me that I didn't have to finish everything in one day - which wasn't my intent, I just really enjoyed the project that was assigned to me.  (This is the part that totally got her hired :D)
Attached to this email is my current resume and references as requested via craigslist. If you have any questions regarding my candidacy, please contact me at any time via email and I will contact you within 24 hours. Also out of courtesy, I will be unavailable at the end of this month from 4/25 - 5/1, and wanted to give as much notice as possible. I completely understand if you are interested in hiring a more suitable individual who can start immediately. 
Thank you again for your time and consideration and hope we can meet for an interview in the near future. May you have a wonderful weekend and I look forward to hearing from you. 
Sincerely,
Shayane Gomez
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After learning that she liked to fold little pieces of paper we called her in for an interview and literally hired her on the spot.